brettdavis: Note: I have been making these fake OkCupid profiles for some time now, but for this installment, I decided to hand over the reins. It is truly my honor to present the following OkCupid profile (and for the very first time, correspondences with other OkCupid users), written ENTIRELY by the esteemed poet and writer, Dr. Maya Angelou: OkCupid User: heymisterDJ18 / F / Bisexual / SingleVan Nuys, CaliforniaMy self-summaryI am a WomanPhenomenally.Phenomenal Woman,that’s me.What I’m doing with my lifeMy mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.I’m really good atPoetry is music for the human voice. Until you actually speak it or someone speaks it, it has not come into its own.The six things I could never do withoutPeace, My Brother.Peace, My Sister.Peace, My Soul.I spend a lot of time thinking aboutA story went the rounds about a San Franciscan white matron who refused to sit beside a Negro civilian on the streetcar, even after he made room for her on the seat. Her explanation was that she would not sit beside a draft dodger who was a Negro as well. She added that the least he could do was fight for his country the way her son was fighting on Iwo Jima. The story said that the man pulled his body away from the window to show an armless sleeve. He said quietly and with great dignity, “Then ask your son to look around for my arm, which I left over there.”The most private thing I’m willing to admitThere is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.I’m looking forGuys who like girlsAges 18–22Near meFor casual sexYou should message me ifWhen a person shows who they really are, believe them. I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt. Maya Angelou’s works can be found at your local public library, I guess. For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

brettdavis:

Note: I have been making these fake OkCupid profiles for some time now, but for this installment, I decided to hand over the reins. It is truly my honor to present the following OkCupid profile (and for the very first time, correspondences with other OkCupid users), written ENTIRELY by the esteemed poet and writer, Dr. Maya Angelou:

OkCupid User: heymisterDJ
18 / F / Bisexual / Single
Van Nuys, California

My self-summary
I am a Woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal Woman,
that’s me.

What I’m doing with my life
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

I’m really good at
Poetry is music for the human voice. Until you actually speak it or someone speaks it, it has not come into its own.

The six things I could never do without
Peace, My Brother.
Peace, My Sister.
Peace, My Soul.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
A story went the rounds about a San Franciscan white matron who refused to sit beside a Negro civilian on the streetcar, even after he made room for her on the seat. Her explanation was that she would not sit beside a draft dodger who was a Negro as well. She added that the least he could do was fight for his country the way her son was fighting on Iwo Jima. The story said that the man pulled his body away from the window to show an armless sleeve. He said quietly and with great dignity, “Then ask your son to look around for my arm, which I left over there.”

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

I’m looking for
Guys who like girls
Ages 18–22
Near me
For casual sex

You should message me if
When a person shows who they really are, believe them. I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.

Maya Angelou’s works can be found at your local public library, I guess. For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

--Tagged under: okcupid--

--Tagged under: maya angelou--

--Tagged under: edc--

--Tagged under: woman--

--Tagged under: feminism--

--Tagged under: deadmau5--

--Tagged under: dating--

--Tagged under: peace--

(Source: mine-stuff)

(Source: fuckyeahalbuquerque)

shitfromtheinternet: It’s happening

shitfromtheinternet:

It’s happening

brettdavis: OkCupid User: POLITICALEUNUCH39 / M / Straight / SingleLagos, NigeriaMy self-summary/I AM the Hon. Barrister Alyusi Olajengbesi Junior. \My father of directing of Nigerian National Petroleum Company left me that $40 million in his, however I initially search a soulmate.What I’m doing with my life/Currently functioning with the ministry for the Trade and Industry under the chief Henry Islassis, beside Malam Bacai Hassan. \I also gather kites.I’m really good atgame of /I the saxophone.The first things people usually notice about me/I AM a personal friend of Col. Yusef Saraki.Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food/Osuofia in London, Aki na Ukwa, Igodo, 9 to 5, Domitila/Checkmate, Jaguar Ke, Rooster Crows At Dawn, Koko Close, Nash Bridges, Hotel de Jordan, Sura the Tailor/ Tshetsha Boys - Nwampfundla/ Mancingelani - Vana Vasesi/ Zinja Hlungwani - Ntombi Ya Mugaza/ Zinja Hlungwani - N’wagezani My Love/ Tiyiselani Vomaseve – Vanghoma/ Tiyiselani Vomaseve - Naxaniseka/ Tshetsha Boys - Uya Kwihi Ka Rose/ Nkata Mawewe - Khulumani/ Zinja Hlungwani – ThulaThe six things I could never do without/G-d/Ministry of Trade and Industry/SportI spend a lot of time thinking about/The autoguident to me could provide, given the funds obtained of the will of my father. /I would have many approvals and a grill of brick oven and a great television.On a typical Friday night I am/I dine with my mother or my colleagues with the ministry for the Trade and Industry. sleep of /I.The most private thing I’m willing to admit/I AM an eunuch. I was castrated by my respectful family as an young man in the efforts for the political office.I’m looking for Girls who like guys Ages 18–30 Located anywhere Who are single For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, long-distance penpals You should message me if/You believe in G-d and romanticizes. /I amndt looking for romanticizes one the Internet, in the hopes to find has wife, has mother to future Olajengbesi generations, and has real woman to satisfy me with the foot romanticizes. /You are the woman for me please send your information and we will proceed with has meeting and see our compatibility. For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

brettdavis:

OkCupid User: POLITICALEUNUCH
39 / M / Straight / Single
Lagos, Nigeria

My self-summary
/I AM the Hon. Barrister Alyusi Olajengbesi Junior. \My father of directing of Nigerian National Petroleum Company left me that $40 million in his, however I initially search a soulmate.

What I’m doing with my life
/Currently functioning with the ministry for the Trade and Industry under the chief Henry Islassis, beside Malam Bacai Hassan. \I also gather kites.

I’m really good at
game of /I the saxophone.

The first things people usually notice about me
/I AM a personal friend of Col. Yusef Saraki.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
/Osuofia in London, Aki na Ukwa, Igodo, 9 to 5, Domitila

/Checkmate, Jaguar Ke, Rooster Crows At Dawn, Koko Close, Nash Bridges, Hotel de Jordan, Sura the Tailor

/ Tshetsha Boys - Nwampfundla
/ Mancingelani - Vana Vasesi
/ Zinja Hlungwani - Ntombi Ya Mugaza
/ Zinja Hlungwani - N’wagezani My Love
/ Tiyiselani Vomaseve – Vanghoma
/ Tiyiselani Vomaseve - Naxaniseka
/ Tshetsha Boys - Uya Kwihi Ka Rose
/ Nkata Mawewe - Khulumani
/ Zinja Hlungwani – Thula

The six things I could never do without
/G-d
/Ministry of Trade and Industry
/Sport

I spend a lot of time thinking about
/The autoguident to me could provide, given the funds obtained of the will of my father. /I would have many approvals and a grill of brick oven and a great television.

On a typical Friday night I am
/I dine with my mother or my colleagues with the ministry for the Trade and Industry. sleep of /I.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
/I AM an eunuch. I was castrated by my respectful family as an young man in the efforts for the political office.

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–30
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, long-distance penpals


You should message me if
/You believe in G-d and romanticizes. /I amndt looking for romanticizes one the Internet, in the hopes to find has wife, has mother to future Olajengbesi generations, and has real woman to satisfy me with the foot romanticizes. /You are the woman for me please send your information and we will proceed with has meeting and see our compatibility.

For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

yep

yep

(Source: internetcoven)

thatfunnyblog: her face though she’s like “hahaha oops!”

thatfunnyblog:

her face though she’s like “hahaha oops!”

(Source: trudiesledge)

i tend to reblog anything that involves birds being dumb fyi

i tend to reblog anything that involves birds being dumb fyi

seanorr: d3dk0w: jennifrey DAD JOKES 4 LYFE

seanorr:

d3dk0w:

jennifrey

DAD JOKES 4 LYFE

(Source: cyberbullys)

illogicalcontraption:

 

(Source: heyheyitsmimi)

Theme created by: Roy David Farber and Hunson. Powered By: Tumblr...
1 of 78